Conspiracy Theories

With the president's approval ratings gleefully in the 30s and a possible spanking looming in the 2006 midterms (yes, I have some hope that we are not a nation of absolute morons), one has to wonder about the release of the 911 calls from September 11th. This is obviously going to down out the horror of Iraq and possibly stem the tide of the President's decline in the polls.

In other news, I am finding it odd that the supposed liberal rag is dedicating about 1 article a day to college admissions. This is a great subtle wedge issue. Even really liberal folks get a little rankled when in comes to college admissions and affirmative action - a possible taliban talking point for '06.

Second Best Thing on the Web

OK, maybe 3rd after me and porn. Josh Marshall Rocks.

Great post

So why can't any Democratic talking heads reason like this?

Everybody Sucks

Last weekend, there was some Christian Rock Concert. My guess is what that it was supposed to scare kids straight by actually creating a hell on earth. Anyway, the SF Supervisors got their panties in a bunch and condemed the whole thing and tried to stop the event. They don’t get the separation of church and state thing that well either. I looked at the asshats who were holding the concerts and yep, they are real asshats. Then I realized. Wow, everybody sucks.

My Team Sucks

At some point in the future, I will be trying to start up a rusty chain saw, while my adversary aims a harpoon gun at my head in some hideous post-apocalyptic thunderdome. As the engine turns over and the crowd roars, I will wonder, how did we get here. The short answer will of course be, the republican taliban and their taliban-y counterparts all over the world. But some of the blame will have to go towards my side. See liberals are really bad at marketing themselves and their ideas to the masses. Great at preaching to the choir, but actually convincing someone on the fence (yes, I know it is incomprehensible how anyone can be on the fence) to move to their side.

Part of that problem is the crackpots. Somehow, the republican taliban is able to hide their crackpots better. Ours are out in the open. I am terrified of Oliver Stone’s 9-11 movie. Exhibit A. Now Mark Morford, basically has a blog in the Chronicle. He is in the entertainment section and just kind of rants. Sometimes funny, sometimes bleh. It’s the Chronicle, so it is never that good. Anyway, he is always liberal and gets tons of crazy wingnut hate mail, which is always amusing. But now, Mark is on the 9-11 was done by Dick Cheney crazy train. Ugh. This bugs me because ole Dick has plenty of crimes against America to nail him on, we don’t need to put on our tin foil hats to do it. What say we actually hold him accountable for the real stuff?

My favorite part of the ranting is how there is no way 19 guys could pull off 9-11. It was too complicated. Doesn’t seem like rocket science to me. Flight schedules are published in advance, its easy to smuggle a knife on a plane, and the protocol at the time was to go along with the hijackers. The expectation was that they would be flown to Cuba or something and there would be demands blah, blah, blah. That was the usual MO. The hard part is knowing how to fly a plane.

Simply put, the government is not competent enough to pull off some great 9-11 conspiracy. Have you been to the DMV? Planting bombs in the WTC. Yeah, no janitor is gonna find those? It’s not like you could do this with a hand grenade – you would need huge amounts of explosives. And there is no way you could keep all the people who would need to be involved silent. They can't keep it secret that they outed Valerie Plame. This is pure Protocols of Zion shit. So why are you bringing it up? This just makes it easy to dismiss you as crazy. Arrgh.

I remember during the protests before the Iraq war started, they interviewed this organizer of a march and he was so disappointed. He was a pretty moderate guy – may have even voted Bush in 2000. He thought the war was a damn fool idea and organized this protest/march. Well all the Free Mumia’s and the Justice for Palestine folks and then the stoners, anarchists and the rest of the usual suspects show up and turn it into a simple news bite for Fox – the SF hippies are at it again. Pay no attention.

How stupid can some people be

I hate to tell you this, but you have been used. If you were not being used to ruin our country, I would pity you. The site is so pathetic. Life must be so hard, being so clueless.

Dear Washington Post,

I am available for your blogger position. Please see the sample of my work below:

Liberals eat babies and then have gay sex with each other. The only time they are not having gay sex is when they are intentionally getting pregnant so they can have abortions. Liberals love abortions. They hate everything about America, but love abortions. We should shoot them.

Hillary Clinton was responsible for 9-11. You notice she was not in the World Trade Center. She clearly did it because Vince Foster's suicide was not real and the evidence proving the Clinton's were involved was in the World Trade Center.

Michael Moore leaked information about the Iraq war to Saddam. They are both fat and probably gay. Clearly gay. And they both hate Jesus. Because of their gay, Jesus hating ways, we need to stay the course in Iraq. If we bring the solders home, it will empower the gay Jesus haters and then they will take over America. That is what the Democratic party stands for. If you vote Democrat in 2006, liberals will make it illeagal to go to church. Then, if you go to church, they will arrest you and take turns anally raping you in prison. That is what people like John Kerry and Al Gore are all about.

Liberals cannot understand that we are at war. We need to stop questioning the president and leave him alone to fight the war. The terrorists are everywhere. Working with the liberals, trying to kill us because they hate freedom. I mean, there could be a terrorist at the Starbucks, ready to blow us all up. The only thing between being blown up while waiting for my moca-latte is the strength and will of George W. Bush. And Dick Cheney. Can't forget Dick.

My rates are low. The work is original. Please let me know.
Thanks

Not New News

OK, on the front page of the most important paper in the country, we have the news that Bush was going to war with Iraq no matter what. Admittedly, this is not news to anyone paying attention, but I am curious what will happen.

Oh wait, I know, nothing. Well, I guess the president's ratings can go down to the low 30s, but at what point does the Congress grow some balls and try to reign this guy in. I mean, he should end up in Nixion levels.

The next question is why are these people still in the public eye? OK, the neocons lied to us, were wrong about - well everything and are completely totally and utterly incompetant. So why are they not slinking off into the dustbin of history? Can they not go the way of Milli Vanilli? Where is the disgrace? Where is the accountability? I guess I understand that this is not the time to point fingers (although, it is always the time to point fingers), but it sure as hell isn't the time to keep listening to the same asshats.

If there is not a landslide in 2006, I will be deeply disappointed.

Easy Answers

Why is Windows so slow?

Well, that is an easy one. It sucks. It has always sucked. If you ever used a Mac, you know it sucks. Hell, Windows was stolen from Apple years and years ago. And having been tormented by Microsoft products for years, I am pretty sure than anyone with pride in their work works someplace else. Microsoft is brilliant businesswise, but their software sucks.

That is why Windows is so slow.

Bring in the Gimp

Oh Arlen Spector, what happened? You are a smart guy. Went to Penn. Yale Law. Now you are just George Bush’s bitch. Does he keep you in a trunk with a leather leash? Not swearing in Gonzales for the republican illegal wiretapping of innocent Americans Scandal. The Alito debacle. Didn’t you tell your constituents that you were pro-choice? Sad really.

What needs to be done in 2006 and 2008 is that the people of Pennsylvania, Ohio, Michigan and other not totally fucked redneck hellholes need to realize that they are more like New York, California, and the rest of the country. Heck, vote your aspirations: People of Scranton, do you want to be Mississippi or do you want to be more like your neighbors in New York? Because that is the choice. There are Democrats and there are Bush Bitches. That is it, no other options. Before you make that choice, you might want to consult the infant mortality tables.

On the street its probably 2-3 years

Ah, John Cheney is retiring. No, not Lon Cheney. I just saw him walking with the Queen. And not Dick Cheney.

Although, John could be a dick. Yeah, when he stormed into John Calipari's locker room and threatened to kill him. Yeah, that was kinda not cool. Or last year, when he sent a player into a game to break the arm of a guy on the other team. Kinda not cool.

So, he gets a puff peice from ESPN.

The highlight of the peice is how Wosdalfh;sdoijski, describes "one of the best college lectures I ever heard as undergraduate would come that day out of the visiting professor at Temple University, John Chaney." Umm, I guess that means that St. Bonaventure, well, sucks.

Here is my question, what does a sports figure have to do to get negative press. So far, the only recent sports figure who has paid any real consequences for his actions has been OJ. Oh yeah, and Rae Carruth. So, if you did not kill a woman who was either 1) white or 2) pregnant, it's all OK. Gotta wonder what would have happened if Rae was a better football player.

Church and State and A Dumbass (actually, a lot of them)

The Catholic Church in Boston will no longer do adoption services as the government will not allow the Church to discriminate against gays who want to adopt. Now, I think that stance is wrong. And I think that the Church has brass balls to take that stance, in Boston, where they molested scores of children. The idea that they would get on their high horse this is nuts. But hey, that’s the Church – terrified of gays under the bed or something. I mean, the Church is saying that they would rather discriminate than help abandoned kids. OK, now we know what you stand for. Fair enough.

So, the governor of MA is trying to file a bill that will allow the Church to discriminate, so they can continue adoptions.

Damnit. That pisses me off. See, separation of church and state is a wonderful thing. The state can’t force the church to do anything. Which is fair. But the church should not be able to dictate what the laws are. Romney, of course is caving like a total pussy.

See Milt, all this time, you let the Church do the state’s work and now it is biting you on the ass. How about the state stepping up to it’s responsibility for these abandoned children and doing the adoption work itself. What would it cost, couple of mil a year. That should be easy enough to find. So now we know what you stand for – not much. Don’t care enough about these kids to pony up the dough yourself. Don’t care enough about people’s rights to stand up to bigotry. What do you stand for? Getting elected, I guess.

I love this quote. Does he even think before he speaks?

"This is a sad day for neglected and abandoned children," Romney said in a
statement. "It's a mistake for our laws to put the rights of adults over the
needs of children."

Well, Milt here’s a suggestion for you. Sell all your stuff, your house, your car, everything. Take all your money, and give it to children’s charities. Heck, take all of that money that you have raised to get elected, give that to children’s charities. Actually, why don’t I just take it all. I mean, it’s just your right to the stuff. While I am at it, maybe I should enslave you to build better orphanages. You any good with a miter saw? Can I sell your kids to be Thai prostitutes and then donate the money they raise to UNICEF? Easy to give away someone else’s rights. Maybe a little harder when they are yours, shithead.

Sports - Not the Huey Lewis Album

Yes, sports can be nice. However, sports can also give you this.

8 years.