After Magritte

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We sold our souls for $300.

Monday, November 28, 2005

I wanna new drug

This is tremendous: To quote Aaron McGruder again, "Not all women are ho's - 20-25% tops."

Drug companies are hiring hot cheerleaders as sales reps.

Insert Viagra joke, prostate check joke, something about turning your head and coughing. There is just too much here.

Here is a tease:

"Some keep their pompoms active, like Onya, a sculptured former college cheerleader. On Sundays she works the sidelines for the Washington Redskins. But weekdays find her urging gynecologists to prescribe a treatment for vaginal yeast infection. "

"One informal survey, conducted by a urologist in Pittsburgh, Dr. James J. McCague, found that 12 of 13 medical saleswomen said they had been sexually harassed by physicians"

I wonder if the 13th doesn't like Trident gum.

Speaking of being sexually harassed by a doctor, I have been sexually harassed by a doctor - but, who hasn't:

I was just out of college and needed a physical to start my new job. So off I go to the place my insurance sends me. I strip and get the usual phyical stuff - check the ears, the breathing, yada, yada, yada. Then the doctor has my balls in her hands and asks me: "You've been having a lot of wild sex lately, haven't you?" WHILE HOLDING MY BALLS! A little back story. At the time, I had no bed. I was sleeping on the harwood floors of my apartment. So my back was kinda scratched up - unfortunately, there was no wild sex at the time. I won't even get into the large vein/not able to have children thing. I am not sure this doctor had ever seen a penis before.

I have done my best to avoid the medical profession. More evidence that this is the right choice.

Friday, November 25, 2005

Movie Idea

Houston, we have feedback. Unlike Sally Field, you don’t like me. So, less political this time. I have a movie idea. This is the premise.

A family (Mom, Dad, small kid) are playing with some toy. Just some cheap plastic thing. The Dad cannot figure out how they make the toy, so cheaply. (this part is based on my reality, so picture this toy

He becomes obsessed (OK, where we diverge from my autobiography). His wife just kind of ignores it, but he’s crazed. He asks all his friends, etc. He calls the toy makers, but no one knows. They make it in China somewhere. Everyone has theories – special machines, robots, child slave labor.

After a while, things seem to get back to normal. But Dad is a little funny – disaffected. But then the family goes on vacation – to China. The Dad has worked it out that they are going to the town where they make the toy, so he can visit the factory. But he doesn’t tell his family that is why they are going to China.

Once in China, the wife finds out that the vacation was all part of the obsession and leaves – taking the kid. So Dad goes to the factory and meets the guy who makes this toy. There he has this spiritual connection with the toymaker. It turns out the toy is made by a machine and this guy just pulls some handle all day. Dad spends some time with him and realizes that they are so similar. We’ll make Dad an accountant. Maybe the toy guy is, in fact, prison labor. Not sure if he is a mass murderer or a political dissident. I don’t really have the ending. The idea is this obsession that turns into self discovery. Depending on my mood it is really depressing – he discovers that all there is is making cheap plastic crap or that he has an awakening to a deeper meaning of life.

Maniac on the Loose

Last weekend, a disturbing thing happened. A lunatic took control of the local radio station. It was so disturbing that I almost crashed my car into the Dairy Queen. Up was down, left was right, fratboys were actually OK guys. Things were so out of wack, I nearly had a seizure.

During the 3-4 minutes that control of the radio station was compromised, I actually heard a decent song. Don’t go back to Rockville. Remember when REM was cool?
Fortunately, he was subdued and removed before too long. I’m sure they gave him the tasers a few times. He probably killed like 6 people and ate their brains that very morning.

But order was restored and they quickly went back to Jack Johnston/Dave Mathews/U2/whiny guys whose names I can’t remember/Coldplay. Whew. Normality resumed. The world returned to normal.

See the car radio exists for only one reason – fending off starvation. The radio plays horrible music to generate driver rage, leading to road rage incidents, leading to accidents, leading to car repair, leading to jobs repairing cars, which helps the economy, so people can buy food. If the radio stops playing sucky music, babies die. A three-peat of the Who can feed a family of three for a week.

I mean, that is the only logical explanation. Why else would they play the crap they do.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Can someone please explain to me how our fearless leader can have an approval rating over 41% in Louisiana? How is that possible?

Monday, November 21, 2005

A very Angry Email

Below is an email I sent to a buddy. To summarize, our institutions have failed us. We are fucked. We are fucked for the same reason most people are fucked. We are stupid.

Are you following this:

Rep. Murtha basically said that he was out on Iraq and he is a 30+ year Marine vet, conservative Democrat. He wants a reasonable timetable to get the hell out of there. So, the R's (after calling him treasonous and their usual shit), draft a resolution that says, "Let's leave Iraq today." They call it the Murhta resolution and refer to it as the Democratic resolution.
They have outsmarted the Dems here as the Dems can't vote for the cut-and-run bill as that is a damn fool idea. There needs to be some orderly transition - I think any reasonable person would say that. And the media - being lazy and stupid - will summarize this as "Some Dems want to cut and run, but most vote with the R's on Iraq." Then any future criticism of Iraq leads to flip-flopping.

Meanwhile, GIs are getting killed in Iraq. While our Congress is playing games. Mother fucking games. Fuck them. Fuck them so fucking hard.
What a national fucking tragedy and shame. Because America is dead. Dead. Our system of government does not work. It simply does not work. We have devolved to the point where all that matters is spin and talking points and 30 second sound bites to a media that is cataclysmically stupid and a population that is minimally aware. Our so called leaders pay no attention to governance and 100% of their time to fund raising, paying off donors and bamboozling the populace.

We have a tyranny of idiocy. A kelptocracy that only survives because of the incredible economic might that we have in spite of our idiot government.
Hope is a good thing. But hope, like America, is dead to me. I fear for my daughter's future. We have serious problems. Hard problems. I have no hope that they will be solved. Our enemies are smarter than us. Can you really believe that dipshits like John Conyers and Jean Schmidt (she called Murtha a coward or the floor of the house) can solve the problem of Islamic Extremism? The rise of China and India, Iranian nukes, Oil prices, health care costs, the strain on Social Security? And will Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean really solve them? Doubtful.

Learn Mandarin my friend, learn Mandarin.

OK Picking NFL Games is Hard

I am 1-2 in stone cold locks. Not good. Don't let anyone tell you this is easy. The guys who set the lines know what they are doing. More to come on the university of miami, Rep. Murtha and Iraq and other things.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Great Sports Writing

OK everybody, go bookmark Thanks for the Own Goal. There will be some great, funny and insightful sports writing there. You will want to read this now – one day he will be huge and you will be glad you got in on the ground floor. Anyway, it was a tough week for Vanilla Bullshit as his lock didn’t cover. I however, picked the Broncos over the Raiders and was victorious. Now, I don’t know as much football as Mr. Bullshit, nor do I follow it as closely. So, what was my week 10 secret?

Football is really emotional to play – there is all the hitting and these guys must be sore as hell. Mental state is really important. You have to believe you are the better man. So picking against the Raiders – poor discipline, season going nowhere, few character guys - against a team with something to play for is never a bad idea. After they get down a few points, they are just ready to go home. Sure enough – that’s what happened.

Hmm, things going poorly for folks with bad character. Sounds familiar.

OK, maybe that was too linky. The GOP is getting rolled like the Raiders.


It has come to this in America. I am against Torture. Kind of amazing that we have to say that now. But I think torture is bad. Oddly enough, many don’t agree with me. Forget them for now.

Now some say torture is bad because it inflames those who already hate us. Others say that you don’t get any good information from it (Yeah, I will be all linky here).

While good reasons, they do not get to the fundamental issue. The fundamental issue is what are our values? Once you figure out your values, everything is easy. Where life gets hard is when you try to sneak around your values – when you try to justify doing what you know damn well is wrong because it is easier at that moment. Are we a country that believes in torture, or the rule of law? It doesn’t matter what our enemy believes. It’s what we believe. Who we are.

This reminds me of a great book that I am in the middle of – Ghost Wars – by Steve Coll. That is why I post so little now - I am too busy reading this excellent book. More to come on this.

After the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, the US, Pakistan and the Saudis greatly supported the Jihadist resistance. Over time, it became clear that many of the jihadists were enemies of the United States and the West in general. So, what did the CIA, State department, etc do? Well, we pumped more and more money into them. Yeah, that turned out real well. If we took a quick look at the values of our so called allies, we would have realized that this was going to end up exactly how it did. Foreign policy needs to be values based, not based on expediency – there is no easy way out. Arming religious fanatics who hate us to the teeth - not smart. Getting too cozy with Pakistan's ISI - dominated by Islamists - again not smart.

Understand someone's values and you know what they are going to do.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Notes on the Medium

First, sorry to be away so long - I am sure you missed me. The home computer broke.

A quick note: One thing that annoys me in bloggy-land is the neverending linking. Every third fucking word is linked to something. I guess its to get you more connected and thus findable by the various search engines. The part I love is how one blog will link to another blog, using the first blog as a source. Eventually, this ends up in the New York Times (but then again, what doesn't), quoted as fact. The republican taliban is great at this.

PS. the spell checker on this has now eaten a post, so be ready for some really bad, down right horrific spelling.

I like CH

Thank you, Aaron McGruder for this:

"You can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese."

I have nothing to add, it is sublime.