Maniac on the Loose

Last weekend, a disturbing thing happened. A lunatic took control of the local radio station. It was so disturbing that I almost crashed my car into the Dairy Queen. Up was down, left was right, fratboys were actually OK guys. Things were so out of wack, I nearly had a seizure.

During the 3-4 minutes that control of the radio station was compromised, I actually heard a decent song. Don’t go back to Rockville. Remember when REM was cool? Fortunately, he was subdued and removed before too long. I’m sure they gave him the tasers a few times. He probably killed like 6 people and ate their brains that very morning.

But order was restored and they quickly went back to Jack Johnston/Dave Mathews/U2/whiny guys whose names I can’t remember/Coldplay. Whew. Normality resumed. The world returned to normal.

See the car radio exists for only one reason – fending off starvation. The radio plays horrible music to generate driver rage, leading to road rage incidents, leading to accidents, leading to car repair, leading to jobs repairing cars, which helps the economy, so people can buy food. If the radio stops playing sucky music, babies die. A three-peat of the Who can feed a family of three for a week.

I mean, that is the only logical explanation. Why else would they play the crap they do.