I can't make this up

Comedy. High Comedy.
Two headlines from Yahoo news on the same day:

Top Iran cleric backs president's Holocaust remark

and

Iran Official Recasts Holocaust Comments

Now, does this mean that Iran's top cleric will get all Fatwa up in Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's ass about this. Then will he have to snap back, perhaps in a battle rap. This has Biggie and Tu Pac written all over it. It will be settled with 9s.

Coo-coo for Coco Puffs

Wow, this guy is bat shit insane.

I would bet that dude has some issues internally. From what little I know of Iran, the Iranian people would like to have more interactions with the West. They are not huge fans of their own government. The prospects of boycotts from the nuclear problem may not be playing well in the street. Yeah, its "Death to America", but their hearts aren't really in it. "Seriously, have you seen how thin the Ipod Nano is. I can totally take all my Queen albumns everywhere I go. Great Satan, yeah. How many Rial's is that?"

So, when in trouble, you need to rally the base - and nothing rallies the base like Anti-Semitism. That has to be in nation ruling 101. This is how you give a speech, this is how you pose for your ubiquitious posters, this is how you condem the elders of Zion for the fact the national soccer team got a bad draw. . .

In other news, the first thing you get on a Google search for Coco puffs is: Marijuana and Cocaine.

Rage

Let the word go forth from this time and place that Microsoft is the shittiest company on earth and that their products exist for no other reason than to torment their users with their shitty design and shittier execution. No person who works for Microsoft can have any pride or human dignity. The fact that our government allows one of our most important industries to be controlled by a monopoly of unmitigated dipshits is fucking criminal.

Seriously, I am going to die one day of a heart attack brought on by trying to use crappy microsoft products. Fucking murderers.

Sorry, but Dig Dug costs a little more

I couldn't help but link to this. You can pay someone in China 25 cents an hour to play video games for you. I wonder what the going rate is for sitting on your ass watching TV is?

I never liked video games, so maybe I don't get it, but isn't the point of playing video games to have fun? The idea is that you can pay for someone to get through the first levels of different games, so then you can play the upper levels without doing the work to get through the lower ones. That is delightfully American. We are too lazy to have our own fun, but clever enough to figure out how to get it outsourced.

Dig Dug was the best video game ever.

A day that will live in infamy

What a great president. What a great man. It’s sad what we have become. We are bereft of leadership.

The worst college in America – U of Colorado

I promise this will be the last College Sports post in a while. It is just such fertile ground for hypocritical bullshit. Gary Barnett, the coach/pimp at the University of Colorado, is about to get fired because he lost to games to Texas and Nebraska by a combined score of 100-6. He will receive a bonus of $1.6 million dollars if fired.

What makes this noteworthy is that the coach will be fired for losing football games badly. He was not fired for 1) making disparaging comments to a female player who was allegedly raped, 2) having 6 women pres accuse players of raping them during his 6 year tenure and 3) (the best one) the football team using sex and alcohol to recruit players, supposedly without him or anyone at the university knowing. None of these things got him fired.

Now, imagine you live in Colorado and your daughter goes to U of Colorado. You not only pay tuition, but some of your taxes go to the school and the school pays the athletic director, coaches, etc. Your money also goes to the alcohol fueled sex/recruitment parties where women end up raped. So, you could pay for your own kid’s rape.

Colorado will play in the Champs Sports Bowl on 12/27.

Nice.

Dog Bites Man

I know you all will be shocked, just shocked to find out that of the teams going to College Bowl Games 41% fall below minimum graduation requirements and ~50% have less than a 50% graduation rate for players.

Why do we persist in this charade? Let's just pay these poor kids and stop this hypocrisy. And why does the fact that these schools are failing the players and those around them not warrent congressional attention, but the fact that Oregon State may not go to the Nokia Sugar Bowl over LSU does?

One more question, will anyone ever hold any of these douche bag coaches responsible for graduating players, or at least keeping their players from raping half the women on campus? Just once, I would like to see a college president show some sack. I am looking at you, Donna Shalalalalalalala. Your university is a punch line.

More on Me

The Discovery of Fire

I need to figure out how to post pictures now.

Court says Texas #1 over USC 5-4 - Roberts deciding vote

WOW. The stupidity of our Congress knows no bounds. Seriously, these are the stupidest people in the world. We are doomed. Doomed I say. The only good thing about it is the entertainment value. Nero played a mean fiddle.

Congress now wants to determine who is #1 in college football.

Joe Barton, Texas republican says, “College football is not just an exhilarating sport, but a billion-dollar business that Congress cannot ignore.” Now, I know a little bit about republicans and my understanding of them is that they ARE OPPOSED TO GOVERNMENT REGULATION. So, just because college football is a big money maker, they need to butt into it. However, regulating the energy industry – can’t do that.

Please note that Joe Barton is a member of the Energy and Commerce subcommittee. Could some one please explain our energy policy to me? Oh yeah, we buy lots of foreign oil, fund terrorists, heat up the earth with greenhouse gasses and make lots of money for Exxon. Does this matter? No. What matters is that the fratboys from one stupid school can lord it over the fratboys of some other idiot school that they have the better football team.

I fear that I need to go to every American male and slap them across the face and tell them, “IT DOES NOT MATTER WHO WINS COLLEGE SPORTING EVENTS.” However the NCAA wants to do it is fine. Hell, it doesn’t matter if it is fair or not. Its their league, they can do whatever they want. And when did republicans start caring about fair?

I imagine some republican from Georgia is going to run on a platform of unfixing professional wrestling in 06. With how things are going for the GOP, that may be his best hope.

This is a pitiful example of grandstanding. What is sadder is that the dopes in the 6^th district of Texas, who elected this moron in the first place, probably think this is a great idea.