What's the matter with Kansas?

I am speechless. The people of Kansas would watch Footloose and think, hey, this is a great idea. The funny part would be getting ass-raped in jail for feeling up Mary Beth Rottencrotch's tits through her shirt in the back seat of your car. I guess that would be more funny odd than funny ha-ha.

Consequences - Not getting any in South Dakota

First of a new series, based on this post.

So, approximately 6 minutes after Sam Alito’s first day on the job, South Dakota is planning to basically ban abortions. This is not unexpected. It is the result of the 2004 election, pure and simple. So, for the women of South Dakota who are pro-choice, what to do? Now, the Democratic party is going to ask for money. NARAL is going to ask for money. Everyone and their cousin is going to ask for money. Don’t give it to them. They all fucked up. Nice going with ole’ Lincoln Chaffe there, NARAL. How’d that election turn out DCCCCCCCCCCCC? Still waiting for a snappy comeback to those swift boat guys?

So, here is what you do. Move. Just fucking leave. Crap, its South Dakota anyway. Who the fuck wants to live there? Pack up the kids, and drive to Wisconsin. Go. No warnings, just leave. South Dakota don’t want you anyway. Let everyone realize what the deal is. No abortions, no women. Souix Falls can become the gayest city in America. Or, if you can’t move. No sex. No choice, no sex. That’s the deal. Buy yourself a nice dildo and that is that.

People need to know that there will be consequences for their actions. If you voted to ban abortions, you are not getting any.

Shining a light on a flaw

“My fellow Americans,

As you know, my opponent has tried to characterize me as a flip-flopper. The media has had some fun at my expense with some of my explanations of votes or policies. I know that I may not be the best speaker out there. And heck, some of it is funny. However, we live in complicated times. We have complex challenges ahead of us. This is not a time to go with the gut. These are times to gather all the information, to consult experts and to weigh all options and make the best choices for moving America forward. This is not a time for my opponent’s “Ready, Fire, Aim” method of looking at the world. So support me, John Kerry for president in 2004. "

Would that have been so hard? The best part, whenever Bush said anything about anything, you just repeat “Ready, Fire, Aim.”

Starting to get the Cartoons - not the New Yorker ones

Now it is starting to make sense. Ghost Wars has taught me that all Islamic nations have a balancing act with religious extremists. They are a powerful movement in pretty much any Muslim country. They have a great ability to speak to the masses – particularly the down and out. Works here too. You need to keep the extremists around because they are a powerful weapon/threat to use. Pakistan has been using them in the Kashmir fiasco for a long time now. The hard part is keeping them just under control.

So with the great comic caper, it seems that there was a meeting in Mecca and the topic came up. Hey, this is a great tool. First, we whip up resentment against the West so people can forget how crappy a job we do at governing. Then, we can turn around and tell the West that they better watch what they wish for bringing democracy to the Middle East, cuz look out in the street my friends, this is what you will get. Brilliant.

Since the republican Taliban uses the same playbook, I am curious what our version of these cartoons will be – just in time for the ’06 elections. Does Michael Moore have a movie coming up?

Tom Tommorrow Kicks Ass

Awesome. Comics are the way to go. Why can't the Democrats think of this? Or anyone in the media except Jon Stewart.

Where do you get your news?

I generally get news from 3 places. In order:

Yahoo – home page. Generally has interesting lead stories and usually just the facts from the wires. The links often give you other perspectives and interesting stuff. Like for any Middle East article, they will often have links to an Israeli and Lebanese source.

TPM – best political blog out there. A great fact to opinion ratio. He was talking about Ambramoff for months before anyone.

NY Times online – I used to read the opeds. But, I am not paying the $40. I read less and less now, but sometimes they still have decent stories.

I will also read Kos and occasionally check out CNN. Although Kos not really for news.

Know where I never get my news. The newspaper. And if I were to get my news, the last paper I would get it from would be the SF Chronicle. Check this out: The Chronicle is doing a feature on the use of force by SF Cops. On Sunday, the front page had an enormous picture of this cop, Sgt. John Haggett. Only one problem, it wasn’t him.

How little pride do you have to put the picture of the wrong guy on the front page of the Sunday paper? It’s the front page. Sunday. And it’s a feature – you worked on this for weeks. If you can’t get that right, what do you get right? Note: I didn’t read the article and for all I know the article is 100% accurate. But I do know this, some editor is totally incompetent.

It's funny. The mainstream media has some legitimacy, but I have no idea why? Are they any more accurate than XYZ blog? Why the fuck not?

Does the Bull stand for Bullshit?

Merril Lynch is now Princeton Portfolio Research and Management. Oddly enough, they do not have offices in the town of Princeton, but nearby Plainsboro. It seems they are trying to capitalize on the Princeton name. One would think that people who have the money to be investing would be smart enough to not give a shit about the name, but what do I know?

Again, I am not Mr. Investment Guy, but I would think that you would want to place your money with people you trusted. People who wouldn’t fib about where they were located. People who didn’t allow Enron to inflate revenues by 60 million dollars at the end of 1999.
Seriously. Who would leave 50 cents with these asshats?

Perhaps Merrill Lynch would be less interested in being in Princeton if they knew that they would be mercilessly pelted with tennis balls.

Why do they call it sportsmanship?

Sports sucks.

Really, it does. I am getting to the point where I kinda feel guilty watching them. I know it is just entertainment, but when does it become bullfighting or bear baiting. Congratulations, Epiphanny Prince. Nice job Ed Grezinsky. You broke a scoring record. Whooo-fucking-hoo.

Why do we have sports at schools anyway? US high school students can't compete in math and science, but our women's basketball team - well we are number fucking one in that. Whooo-hoo. USA-USA-USA. We're #1.

Republican Taliban Elections

Yes, the internal election for the GOP majority leader appears to have, shall we say, voting irregularities. High Comedy.

I love you Chuck

And not Charles Schwab and his idiot commercials. Even with Tivo, I catch just enough of them to know that they are mind numbingly stupid. The only ones worse are the Citibank ones. ARRGH. "Save something for a sunny day" Arrggh. They are one of the US's largest banks and their marketing campaign is "There is more to life than money" Um, NOT IF YOU ARE A BANK YOU FUCKING MORONS.

Anyway, Chuck Klosterman is doing a Super Bowl Blog.

Highlights:

Have these wackmobiles never considered the integrity of blogging?

To become a pro football player (and particularly to become a superstar),
you need some inherent, ephemeral, wholly intangible quality that makes you
unlike conventional civilians. And I think I have deduced what that quality
is. Sensitivity. . . In order to be exceptionally unstoppable, you also need to be psychologically
immature; you need to be like a 12-year-old girl on Myspace.com.

On that last one, does this mean that the Pakistani's have a tremendous football team? Actually, the cricket team is quite good. They have this really good bowler who's name escapes me.

Under Attack from . . . Cartoons

I find this amusing. I am also amused by how all the European papers are republishing them. Score one for freedom of expression. The best part is about the feelings being hurt. Might I suggest other ways of dealing with them instead of bomb threats.

However, what I can't understand is why nobody is protesting this. I mean, what abuses do we have to take? Is there no one who can protect our values and beliefs from Pat Brady. This monstrosity is hurting the feelings of billions of people with a sense of humor.