Something is Shitting in my Backyard

Had a tough week at work last week. I was working every night until late.
Something is shitting in my backyard.
Went to dinner on Friday night. The restaurant was way to hot and I couldn’t get comfortable. It was OK if you were by the door, but we were by the kitchen.
Something is shitting in my backyard.
I wanted Canada Dry Ginger Ale. The greatest non-alcoholic beverage in the world. They had Sprite. Or Lemonade. Good Lemonade is the second best non-alcoholic beverage in the world. This Lemonade was just OK.
Something is shitting in my backyard.
We had a 3 yr. old with us. She can get fussy. When it took them over 35 minutes to bring me Chicken Marsala, she got really fussy. It was at the point when I convinced my wife that we were leaving without eating and surviving on crap at home. Where I am motioning for the waitress to bring the check and cancel the order. That’s when the food comes.
Something is shitting in my backyard.
The bill was $38.65. A terrible bill. We make a huge mess with the baby, so I don’t like to skimp, but service was lousy. But I only have $45, and can’t possibly wait for a credit card to come back. So, I give the cash. Obviously, the waitress never comes back with change. I hate when they assume that.
Something is shitting in my backyard.
We get home. The garage door is broken. It will not open. After taking many things apart, and getting covered in grease, I find out have a broken spring. $215 dollars later, my garage door opens.
Something is shitting in my backyard.
A skunk has sprayed the backdoor and may have crawled under the deck and died. Shimmying around on the gut, flashlight in hand. Luckily, nothing seems to be under there. However,
something is shitting in my backyard.

I don’t know who, or what it is. But something is shitting in my backyard.