After Magritte

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We sold our souls for $300.

Monday, January 16, 2006

A supposed alumnus

To continue my riff on my education. (Humming Glory Days).

I almost did not graduate from LSJU. There was an incident over approximately $30. When I arrived on campus, I moved into a student apartment. There were 2 guys who were holdovers from last year who were already in the place. There were 4 small bedrooms and a big common room with a kitchen, living room and dining area. While, my bedroom was fine, the common space – well, two 22 yr. old guys had been living there for a year and, well it looked like it. Sink piled with dishes to the point that you could not get a glass of water without moving dirty dishes. 7-8 paper grocery bags filled with trash lined up on an inside wall, with festering trash piled up everywhere. A really nasty smell. We shall not speak of the bathroom.

So, I move in and we kinda clean up a little but generally live in squalor for a year. Next year, I am in a new place with 2 other guys. We all move in at the same time to a reasonable place. At the end of the first term, I graduate and am moving out. The sweethearts at the housing office have me moving out 24 hours after the completion of my last final – Dec 17th or so. A nice touch. So, I clean up my room, clean out the sink, vacuum the common areas and leave. My two roomies are staying in the place for the next year and are living there for the bulk of the holidays.

A few months later, I get a letter. I am being charged 1/3 of the cost of cleaning the apartment. They inspected the place on 12/29 or so and found: dust, dishes in the sink and general clutter in the common areas. Ironic, no? I send back a letter, letting them know that I was not paying this. I cleaned the place when I left and they waited 10+ days to inspect it – not my problem. Commence fucking yourselves.

But, you know that scene in Liar, Liar, where Jim Carry’s car gets impounded and he is trying to tell them off, but can’t lie and says, “I’m just gonna end up bending over and taking it.” Well, that’s what happened. 6 months later my employer at the time required that I prove I had a master’s degree or I would have to be paid less. So, I had to send LSJU my $30 to get my diploma. Bastards.


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