Fun, Fun on the Farm

Ah, the joys of college sports. Now this is not like the Colorado debacle. No crime, just classic comedy. The old alma mater – Leland Stanford Junior University – paid for students to take football recruits to a strip club – the New Century Theater.

I don’t have that much of a problem with this. Strip clubs are legal. This isn’t the worst college in America -- the women involved were willing, paid participants, no one got raped. This is how it should be. The clubs have bouncers and rules and everyone knows what they are getting into. This isn’t gang raping coeds at some campus party by the 7th floor crew.

However, this does show something about the nature of college football. I mean, college football is entertaining, that’s for sure, but it provides nothing educationally, morally, etc., etc. It’s not just the big time. It is any level. It is embedded in sports. There are probably kids roiding on 4th grade pee-wee teams. Please no sermonizing and dammit, I am not watching Remember the Titans, Rudy, Glory Boys or any of that other sports schlock.

As a supposed alumnus (more to follow) of LSJU, however, I am a little pissed. Over $300 was spent on strip clubs for these football recruits for this incident. We all know it was a lot more than that as this has surely been going on for years. As an aside, I do love that these guys turned in the receipts. A nice touch. Now, during my tenure at the junior university, I received exactly 0 dollars to spend on strippers. This despite paying a healthy tuition and passing more than ½ my classes.

Meanwhile, from 2003-2005, the LSJU Football team went 13-20 – with a loss to UC Davis. Methinks the return on our stripper money was not good. I mean, if you are going to spend the University’s hard earned dollars (through haranguing alums, sweet-talking grants out of the Federalis and upping tuition on students) on strippers, can you at least win some games? Is that is too much to ask? I mean, showing some class is clearly out of the question – it is college football. What about just win, baby?

Also, please don’t call me begging for money so the math department can have computers and poor minority students can have financial aid and then blow it on strippers. Sticks in the craw.

The coach at the time was fired. Don’t worry, he was fired because he went 13-20, not because of the strippers. Where is ole Buddy Tevens now? Yep, back at Dartmouth. (the other Alma Mater). I guess that’s good news for Elegant Entertainers in Chester,VT (alas, they have no website).