After Magritte

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We sold our souls for $300.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Last night I watched one of the Steven King, Nightmares and Dreamscapes. In it, William H. Macy is a writer who created a 30s style hard boiled detective, Umney (also played by Macy – very well, BTW). The writer’s life is a mess, so he switches lives with the detective – writes himself into the detective story and the detective into his life. As it is Steven King, things don’t go as planned.

That led me to think of how life would work if it was a novel and since Montana is in the air, I thought about the PA PA. It was a wild situation, this woman who takes a bus, by herself, 2,000 miles to maintain the public area’s of Shoshone -- driven by the same lust for adventure and lying book that drove me and Mr. Bulshit to Big Sky. You don’t take a 2,000 mile bus trip unless you are looking for something. What she found was us. The PA PA was good for the roaming Mr. Bullshit. Were we what the PA PA was looking for?

In a novel, we would know the answer. The PA PA would recur like some character in a crappy Dickens book. Our lives would periodically intersect and we would have our roles. We would know at least. Sadly, I don’t and doubt I ever will see the PA PA again. It would be great to sit down and have a drink and a laugh. Not because we were best of friends or anything like that, but just to see how the book ends.


Blogger Vanilla Bullshit said...

She's been on my mind a lot these past couple weeks.

I periodically saw her for 5 years afterward while hitchhiking through the northeast. We stayed in touch on the phone and in letters. The last time I saw her was in Newport, Rhode Island where she was working part-time at a scrimshaw shop and pursuing her career with museums.

After I left Boston and went on to the law school idea (she knew nothing about that), I haven't seen her. It's been 7 years. However, as you can imagine driving through the Gallatin Valley and also up I-90 to Missoula I got intense memories of her. I was overcome with feelings about what it was like to be full of unknowns and promise and dreams. It was very tough in a way, but very powerful. I hadn't been there in 12 years, many lifetimes.

I googled her when I got back, and I'm fairly confident she's some kind of teacher in the Reading, PA school district. Maybe an art teacher. I entered her parents' number into my phone, and one of these days I'm gonna call it and track her down. She was an important person in my life. I'm sure I'll never have another relationship like that, an ache-for-youth relationship. It was the situation I loved, and her and her quirks I cared for deeply. It was my first relationship where I could truly feel my own full life force and bring that feeling into the partnership.

It would be tremendous to have a reunion at some point, and Mr. Tuba needs to seriously think about getting some retirement land in that steep, gorgeous, rivered Yellowstone valley... believe me, as I drove through in the hour before sunset I realized how few places in America are really that beautiful.

6:34 PM  
Blogger TubaOnFire said...

The magic word . . . Youth. Where everything is ahead of you, you are building for the future, no limits, no realities, just dreams.
She was really important for you. I think she was the period at the end of Dartmouth. That summer was the psychic break. She was fun and great. I hope that we provided her something - whatever it was she was looking for out there.

8:26 AM  
Anonymous PA PA said...

In the words of the great TubaOnFire "That girl is [still] not right."

9:50 AM  
Blogger TubaOnFire said...

Made my day. Absolutely made my day. Now I wish I wrote these stupid posts better.

Cheers to the PA PA. You deserve nothing but the best. Meetings to go to (damn work), more to come.

1:04 PM  

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