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Monday, June 05, 2006

Senator Blutarsky

Duke president Broadhead has announced that the Duke lacross team will be back next year. Apparently, they will be on double secret probation. Glad to hear that. Wouldn't want them to get out of control.

Apparently the players had to sign a mission statement. Google can not find a copy, which is too bad, because it must be hysterical. I guess without a mission statement, Duke undergraduates would assume it is OK to yell racial epithets at people and to threaten to skin black strippers. Glad the university cleared this up. An infraction could lead to a warning and community service. So, no burning crosses in anyone's front yard, or there could be a warning. And I mean it.


Blogger Vanilla Bullshit said...

All these fucking liberals all sensitive about skinning black strippers after cutting their throats. Who doesn't indulge in these kind of college shenanigans?

I have always said, there's something intangibly but qualitatively different about lacrosse players. When I used to deliver pizzas on campus, it was always the lacrosse players that seemed the most morally depraved.

2:57 PM  
Blogger Vanilla Bullshit said...

OMG, I just saw some headlines - CNN has an SI link that says "Duke lacrosse returns - with rules."

Rule 1. No skinning of the nigras.

Rule 2. Keep the throat-slitting of the nigras to a minimum.

3:03 PM  
Blogger TubaOnFire said...

We had a lacrosse team?

I think I can summarize my feelings on college sports in a few words "Hall of Justice" or one great story.

Remember Mike from SAE, I think that was his name - he was huge into hockey. Not as much as you, but he was at all the games, yelling and stuff. A big fan. He got into a fight (and lose badly, IIRC) with some clod on the hockey team a month or two before graduation. Said clod was then suspended for a few terms.

I think some of the ESPN articles captured the lacrosse thing pretty well. It is a fairly elite sport. I never knew that as we had it at my high school, but the college players generally come from the Andovers, Exceters, Choates, et al. So you have that privilege combined with athletic privledge and you know all these guys are in some frat, so you have a perfect storm of douchebaggary.

You know 100% of the Duke lacrosse team is republican.

9:06 AM  
Blogger TubaOnFire said...

Open letter to President Broadhead:

Dr. Broadhead,

You are a fucking moron.


9:08 AM  
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